2021 started pretty much as I expected it to following the none events that were Christmas and new year. Like many, the worry of severe financial problems in my case none pandemic related, the brake down of a family relationship and saddened by a family death I was already finding it very hard to stay positive when Covid came knocking at my door. Following a positive test that saw me self-isolating for ten days along with my good lady who was also stricken with the evil virus. I can honestly say that with the uncertainty in my life I don’t think I have ever felt as frightened by the future or indeed the lack of it. Despite this I remind myself how lucky I am to have some fantastic people around me whom I love and in turn love me. I have never been as grateful or appreciate what I have as I do right now. The one thing I have noticed about battling such darkness and anxiety is how much it intensifies any minor flaw in your situation.
This came to light during my ten days incarceration whilst listening to and watching music. I found myself picking out all kinds of meaning in lyrics new and old. I was on one occasion listening to a piece wondering if I wasn’t going to make it to the end of my isolation and despite having listened to it for over thirty years found its meaning never more poignant. Anyone tuning into my show on Sunday 14th may well be able to pick out some of the tunes which pretty much reflect my current state of mind and the way I feel about the world. Now that I can actually leave the house and enjoy walking and being at one with nature as well as interacting with other humans, I am hoping that my outlook will change and allow some positivity back into my troubled mind. One of the few things that has prevented me from falling further into darkness is knowing that there are so many more people out there in the world worse off than me.
Here’s hoping that between the vaccine and the co-operation of the common man that we are able to soon enjoy music in a live setting with other like-minded people as to me it isn’t merely part of life but life itself. Something that feeds my inner strength that in its absence delays my recovery.